


Kairosclerosis

by Flamoria



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 19-year-old Eren Yeager, Because I want everyone alive and happy, Body Worship, Bottom Eren Yeager, Canon Universe, Declarations Of Love, Enthusiastic Consent, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Humor, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Nervous Eren Yeager, Not Canon Compliant, Oblivious Eren Yeager, One Shot, POV Eren Yeager, Pining Eren Yeager, Romantic Fluff, Secret Santa, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:47:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21881737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flamoria/pseuds/Flamoria
Summary: Kairosclerosis: Noun- The moment you realize that you're currently happy—consciously trying to savor the feeling—which prompts your intellect to identify it, pick it apart and put it in context, where it will slowly dissolve until it's little more than an aftertaste.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 28
Kudos: 262





	Kairosclerosis

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shittyfoureyes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shittyfoureyes/gifts).



> This is my first time participating in a Secret Santa and I got the lovely Sam. I've never written canon verse before and writing it for the king of canon verse himself had me feeling extremely nervous. This is not canon compliant because I wanted to be able to write something lighthearted and sweet for the holidays, meaning I wanted certain characters to be alive for it. I hope I was able to do this universe some kind of justice. And I hope you enjoy this gift, Sam! You are such an amazing person and I'm happy to have you as part of this fandom, Merry Christmas!

“I need everyone to line up in front of me within the next five minutes,” Commander Smith’s voice boomed out, catching Jean off guard and allowing Eren to hook his foot under Jean’s left leg, sweeping him off his feet.

Jean grunted as his back hit the ground, the impact causing the dust of light snow around him to flutter around, the light shining off the white flecks and creating rainbow hues. Eren couldn’t help but chuckle at the annoyed look on Jean’s face as he reached a hand down to help his friend off the ground. 

He then sighed, pulling back and brushing brown strands of hair that had fallen loose from his bun out of his face. Mikasa kept insisting that he cut it, said it would get in the way of fighting, but Eren liked it. Liked the way it shaped his face when he let it down, caressing strong cheekbones and accentuating his tan skin. And he liked that it made him look older, set him apart from when he had first become a cadet at fifteen. Four years had passed since then and he was no longer the same naïve teenager, he knew how cruel the world could be, knew of all the lies that had been uncovered, knew there was a war with humans, not just mindless Titans, ahead of them. 

It was the reason why Commander Smith had decided it was best to begin practicing hand to hand combat more frequently. Along with daily maneuver gear exercises, they now all spent a few hours sparring with one another. Jean was his usual target, well, anyone aside from the Captain would do. The first time he’d sparred with Captain Levi, felt that toned chest pressed up against his, those strong arms pinning him down in a matter of minutes...let’s just say he’d had new images to imagine when he was alone in the shower after that. 

Jean moved to stand next to him and clasped him on the shoulder, his silent way of saying that Eren had put up a good fight today. Their relationship was a far cry from what it had been when they’d first met all those years ago. His younger self would be flabbergasted if he was told that he would one day become best friends with Jean, but it was the truth. Although they still had their quarrels and disagreements, Jean was one of the most reliable people Eren knew. He’d trust the man with his own life, everyone in the survey corps would. 

Mikasa and Armin came jogging over moments later, Armin with his eyes wide and face full of that infamous curiosity that he possessed and Mikasa looking indifferent as per usual. 

“I wonder what the Commander wants,” Armin said once he was within earshot. 

“Who knows,” Jean replied, waving his hand in the air dramatically, “the Commander always has some sort of plan up his sleeve. It’s probably just something for extra training.” 

Eren hummed in agreement as the group made their way towards where the rest of the Survey Corps members were lining up. In front of everyone stood Commander Smith, Captain Levi, and lastly Hanji who had an evil smile on her face. As soon as Eren detected the crazed glint in her eyes, he began to feel a bit nervous. 

“Hey…do you think Hanji looks a bit, well, _too_ excited? Something tells me this isn't going to be good news you guys,” he whispered to the other three as they took their places next to Connie and Sasha. 

“I think you’re right Eren. That’s the same way she looks whenever she has a new idea for an experiment involving your Titan abilities. This can’t be good.”

Well, if Armin agreed, they truly were fucked. 

“Shh, the Commander is speaking now. Don’t get us in trouble,” Mikasa hissed as soon as Jean had opened his mouth to offer his own opinion. As per usual, any admonishment on Mikasa’s part immediately shut everyone up. 

“I am going to be separating you all into groups of two to go on a scouting mission. I know we always do these in large groups, but we are going to begin trying new tactics,” the Commander began, his strong voice booming so loud that Eren wouldn’t be surprised if the leaves on the trees shook in the distance. 

“With the inevitability of a war upcoming with other humans as our foes, we can’t just continue to train as we always have. There is a chance we could be divided into smaller groups while fighting and we need to ensure that you are all able to fully function under such circumstances without panicking. We also want to be sure that you each trust one another completely so, this will double as a bonding exercise. It should take you no longer than a week.” 

Grumbles and moans followed the Commander’s declaration, no one happy about being stuck out in the cold weather for longer than a day. It was hard enough forcing themselves outside to have proper training sessions, but a week-long scouting session with only one other person...was this a good idea?

“I know the weather circumstances aren’t the best, but we have no idea when this war will come to us and we can’t rely on it happening during the warmer months. We have various safe houses located throughout the outside of the walls and you will all be receiving a map and compass so that if the weather warrants it, you can use one. Hanji and Levi have helped to pick out groups and when I call your names move out of the line and stand together to wait for further instruction.” 

The Commander quickly began to call out names and Eren felt himself sweating nervously as those standing beside him left to go off and stand in their groups. 

_Please don’t put me with the Captain._

“Mikasa and Jean.”

_I don’t know if I can hold myself back if I’m with him for an entire week._

“Armin and Connie.”

_Please don’t let it be him._

“Eren, you will be with Captain Levi.”

_Fuck._

The problem wasn’t that Eren didn’t like the Captain, no. The issue here was that Eren liked the Captain _too_ much. His admiration had started years ago but at that time, it’s all it had been. Unlike his fellow cadets, Eren hadn’t ever been interested in anything of the sexual variety. While they all ran off with one another in the wee hours of the night during those years spent training, he stayed in his cramped quarters and chose to focus on becoming stronger. He’d had a mission, to avenge his mother’s death, and nothing else had mattered.

Even when he’d begun getting to know the Captain and his admiration turned into profound respect and an unlikely friendship, that’s all it had been. A friendship. He’d been too focused on his Titan abilities. Honing them. Getting better. Becoming a beacon of hope that his comrades could rely upon. 

It was only once he turned eighteen that suddenly everything had shifted. Some sort of trapped sexual animal awoke within him, and he began to see Captain Levi in a whole new light. No longer were their nightly chess games as innocent as they once were, for Eren couldn’t last one night without thinking about how it would feel to kiss those smooth thin lips. How it would feel to toss the chess set aside and be bent over the table in its place, the Captain’s hands expertly maneuvering his body instead of those delicate glass pieces.

He felt embarrassed by his spontaneous teenage libido striking like a venomous snake. He’d gone from looking at the Captain as a friend and confidant to wanting the man to, well, Eren didn’t know what he wanted exactly. It was a crush, that much was for sure. On a man more than twice his age who saw him as nothing more than a friend and trusted comrade. 

Sure, Captain Levi had always been closer to Eren than the other recruits. But that was to be expected when he was the one in charge of killing Eren if he were to choose to go rogue. Some occurrences had once made him think there was a possibility of... _something_. How once Eren had turned seventeen the Captain began to invite him to his quarters for nightly games of chess and tea. No one else was allowed in the Captain quarters at night, let alone made privy to the man’s luxurious tea stash.

“You’re stressed out, Eren. You bare a heavy burden, but the world isn’t going to end if you take some time to relax occasionally. If you keep up with the way you’re going now, you’ll burn out.”

He was only doing it for Eren’s health. To keep him from becoming volatile. He was okay with that, happy that there was someone who saw beneath the mask of indifference he always wore. Who could see that, deep down, he felt stretched thin…like butter when you scraped it over too much bread. 

He would have been fine with that if it weren’t for the touches that began. On those nights where Eren was forced to dress up and attend balls held by Queen Historia. Surrounded by rich and sophisticated men and women who eyed him like a piece of candy. Him feeling uncomfortable under their gazes until he felt the Captain’s hand on the small of his back, warm and strong, keeping him grounded. 

“It’s okay, I won’t let them touch a single hair on your head.” 

He was only doing it to protect Eren. It was comforting, knowing that no matter the circumstance there would always be someone to watch his back. It was true, the Captain went out of his way to avoid contact with everyone else, but there was no way it could mean more. Eren had a Titan inside of him, he needed the extra attention to keep from losing his cool. That’s all it was. 

But then...there was the real reason why he refused to cut his hair. It was only a sneaking suspicion, and a stupid one at that, but he couldn’t forget what had occurred that day. How Armin had gone out of his way to find him, asking if the Eren knew if something was bothering the Captain. 

“Why do you ask?” _Did I miss something?_

“He looked...well...upset earlier? I guess disappointed would be a better word. It’s hard to tell with him but I’ve always been rather skilled at reading people.”

“When did this happen?” _Why didn’t I notice_? 

“It wasn’t that long ago. You were too busy arguing with Mikasa about cutting your hair, he was walking by right around when you finally conceded to chopping it all off to satisfy her.” 

“Oh...well...I’m not sure.” _Is the Captain upset that I’m going to cut my hair?_

He thought about, then, how whenever they would end a chess match Captain Levi would ruffle his hair, running his hands through the soft strands while joking about how Eren would never be able to best him. 

Eren ended up only getting his hair lightly trimmed after that, realizing at that moment the true influence that the Captain had on him. Without knowing for certain whether that was his real reason for being upset, Eren had chosen to back out of doing something that he’d promised. It was then that he began to turn down chess games. Rather than every night, as they had been doing for well over a year, they now only played two to three times a week. 

And Eren avoided sparring with the man at all costs. At this point, he avoided doing anything alone with Captain Levi for long periods. Didn’t trust himself to not do something stupid such as reveal how he honestly felt about his Captain. He’d thought, initially, that less time spent with the older man would ultimately result in his affection dampening. 

If the pounding of his heart, while he made his way over to Captain Levi, meant anything...it did not. 

Eren didn’t make a sound as he situated himself next to the shorter man, didn’t even turn to look in his direction, his eyes focused on Commander Smith as he explained what they would spend their week doing. It wouldn’t be much different than a normal scouting mission aside from there only being two people instead of their usual large group. 

He could see the apprehension in the eyes of those standing around them, could sense their unease in the way they shuffled around and whispered in once another’s ears. With an unknown enemy out there awaiting them, along with the other Shifters and mindless Titans, going out into the winter infested land with only one other person at your side wasn’t ideal. 

Commander Smith never sent them on a mission without an ulterior motive in mind and part of Eren wondered what exactly it was the man was hoping to accomplish here. 

“Don’t think too much, Eren. Let’s just get this over with. I don’t want to be out in that fucking weather any more than the rest of you. Of course, eyebrows and shitty four-eyes are getting themselves out of this. Tch.” 

It was the first time the Captain had spoken to him in nearly a week and his heart fluttered as that deep voice filtered through the air. He’d been avoiding the older man a little more than usual, and for good reason. The last time they’d played chess together, Eren had been so exhausted from days on end of continual experimentation that he lost his footing and nearly fell on his ass. If it wasn’t for the Captain’s strength, those fingers digging into his waist as he held Eren in place, he would have done just that. 

It had been too much for Eren. The proximity of his Captain, the smell of tea and soap assaulting his senses, the heat of his palms warming the skin underneath his shirt, the puff of his breath against the exposed skin of Eren’s neck. In a matter of seconds, he had felt his pants grow tight and his face heated in response, it was all he could do to sputter out a thank you before running to his room adjacent to the Captain’s quarters. 

And now he had to spend an entire week alone with him. Out in the wilderness. With no one around to give him an excuse to not try and pull something dumb. 

He only hoped that these safehouses included multiple beds because, oh Maria, if he had to share a _bed_ with the Captain? There would be no hope for him. 

“I better get this over with,” he muttered under his breath as he followed the Captain back to their quarters to prepare for the mission. 

“What was that, Yeager?” 

“Nothing, Captain!” 

••••

The first few days of their mission went without a hitch. They ran into the occasional Titan here and there, however, it seemed the near-freezing temperatures weren’t much appreciated by the beasts either. 

Eren ran his hand over his horse’s mane, tangling his fingers into the thick strands of black hair as he reached into his satchel and brought out the apple that he’d been keeping hidden. They’d made good time and traveled far, setting up camps with small fires and taking shifts keeping watch. Though, Captain Levi tended to let Eren sleep longer as he claimed the younger man needed more rest than he did. 

Eren didn’t bother arguing. They had been getting along well, with only a few instances where Eren’s eyes may have lingered a bit too long. And those instances might have been when they took quick baths in the streams littering the woods. His neck started to feel hot as he thought about the glimpse that he’d gotten of the Captain’s taught ass the night prior and he cleared his throat, shaking his head as he tried to rid himself of the image.

“Not now, Eren.” 

“Everything okay over th- Eren. What have I told you about giving the horses apples? You’re spoiling them,” the Captain admonished as he walked up to Eren who quickly shoved the apple inside of Storm’s mouth. 

“I have no idea what you are talking about, Captain. There is no apple here.” 

At that exact moment, Storm chose to let out a small neigh causing a small chunk of apple to fall out of his mouth and onto the ground. Eren blanched, cheeks turning pink as the Captain raised an eyebrow at him. 

“No more apples, Eren.” 

“But they deserve it! They work just as hard as the rest of us.” 

Captain’s Levi’s eyes turned to slits and Eren turned around, grumbling to himself as he prepared to mount the horse. They were going to head back to headquarters today, having already been out for three and a half days and done a fair amount of scouting. As nothing appeared to be awry, it had been decided that there was no point in continuing to brace the cold winter temperatures. 

Eren had no complaints. He was ready for a nice hot shower and to sleep in a bed again. They’d done scouting missions that had lasted longer but normally he was able to share a sleeping bag with Armin or Connie for extra warmth. Although he ran hotter than everyone else, the cold still seeped into his bones every night, making them ache until his healing abilities came through and worked their magic. 

He could only imagine how awful the Captain must be feeling. 

“Eren…wait. Something is wrong.” 

Eren’s hand lingered on Storm’s back, barely touching the coarse hair as he turned, eyes moving past Captain Levi and looking into the distance. They widened a smidgen when he saw a cloud of white moving towards them at an intense speed, the sky dark and menacing above. 

“Wh-what is _that_?” 

“It looks like a snowstorm, but worse than anything that I’ve ever seen. I don’t think we are going to be able to outrun this back to headquarters even with our horses. Eren, listen carefully.” 

The Captain paused, ensuring that Eren’s eyes were on his before speaking again. 

“I know where a safe house is nearby. You’re going to follow closely after me and once we get to the safe house, we are going to stable the horses and lock ourselves inside. Push Storm as much as you can, we have no time to waste. Understood?”

“Yes, Captain.”

“Good. Let’s go.” 

With that command, Eren was hauling himself onto Storm and yelling words of encouragement to him as they chased after Captain Levi and Ciel. The wind whipped through his hair and stung his face as Storm ran with a speed he normally only possessed when the Titans were nearby, and Eren couldn’t help but turn to look behind him, to make sure they weren’t be followed by the enemy on top of some freak storm. 

But all he saw was that wall of white moving closer, faster than he thought possible, and he found himself digging his heels into the sides of his horse to urge him on faster. Captain Levi led the way expertly, taking twists and turns through fallen trees and dead underbrush until, after what had seemed like hours, Eren could see a wooden cabin with a stable next to it in the distance. 

It was small and quaint, reminding him of his childhood home in a way, and he wondered if a place like this was built to last through such an intense storm. However, Eren didn’t question the Captain as they dismounted their horses and tucked them deep inside the stable. He gathered all the leftover hay that he could find in the area quickly, placing it inside the two stalls for the horses so that they would have something to fill their bellies. 

“Water. What about water?” he muttered as he searched around for a bucket, hoping there may be a water pump nearby that he could fill. 

“Eren, not now. They will be fine. The storm is closing in, we have to get ourselves inside before we are stuck out here in the stable with them.”

Eren whined in protest, nuzzling his face against Storm’s after he removed his satchels, but he didn’t resist as the Captain grabbed him by the wrist and hauled him back outside. As soon as they stepped out, a gust of wind slapped him in the face so hard that his hair fell loose from his bun, strands of brown flying around and obscuring his vision. 

“This is fucking insane!” he yelled over the howling winds, flinging his hand in front of his eyes to block the sting of the wind. 

Levi didn’t reply, he simply continued to tug Eren forward until they were inside the house before slamming the door tightly behind them. 

“Fuck,” Eren barely breathed out as he leaned against the wall, closing his eyes and willing the adrenaline that pumped through his veins to calm down a bit. 

“How long do you think we will be stuck here?” he asked after a few moments of silence. 

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen a snowstorm like this in all my years spent in the corps. I would guess that we will be here for at least a few days. It would be suicide attempting to travel in weather like that.”

Eren hummed in agreement, opening his eyes and taking in their surroundings. The place wasn’t bad, it was small but that meant that it would be an easier area to warm up. His eyes lingered on the fireplace, seeing that there were only a few logs left next to it. It wouldn’t last them for more than two days. He would be fine, as his body temperature was above average, but the Captain...

“You’ve been here before, right sir? What about bedrooms and blankets. Food?”

“There are two bedrooms in this place and a bathroom, there should be some hot water but don’t take a long shower as it likely won’t last long. I will check the kitchen to see what food there is, hopefully between what’s here and what we have left it will be enough. If not, we will have to conserve. We still need to have enough for the trip back to headquarters.” 

“Oh, thank Maria there are two bedrooms,” Eren whispered as he gathered all his items to head off to find a room and shower. 

The Captain had been rummaging through the kitchen cupboards searching for food when Eren spoke and, not hearing him fully, turned to look at the younger man quizzically.

“What was that?”

“Oh! Nothing, sir! I’m going to go clean myself up and put all my things in my room, I’ll give you whichever one is biggest.” 

And with that, Eren was off getting himself settled while the Captain prepared them food and a fire. 

And that’s how it went for the first two days. The Captain would cook and get the fire going and Eren would help clean up the messes. Sometimes they spent time in one another’s company reading old books that were left lying about and other times Eren would retreat to his bedroom where he would put himself through training exercises to keep his mind sane. 

Being alone with Levi for this long was beginning to wear him down. He found himself sitting close to the older man during their meals together and on more than one occasion, his gaze would linger a tad too long when he walked by the bathroom only to find the older man wrapped in nothing but a towel. Why the Captain chose to leave the door open while he bathed was beyond Eren, perhaps he was worried something might happen and he would need to be ready to fight. Whatever the case may be, Eren wished he would close the door for the sake of his poor teenage heart. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take. 

It was on the third night stuck inside the cabin that the real trouble began. They had run out of firewood, which would have been fine considering they each had blankets to bundle up in. However, the temperature had dipped to a dangerous low. Although the storm had somewhat died down, between the freshly packed snow on the ground and the below-freezing temperatures, the Captain decided they would need to stay for at least one more night. Possibly two. 

Eren wasn’t happy about it, and he knew the Captain wasn’t either. His eyes picked up the way the older man began to shiver more and more as the night descended upon them and the temperatures dropped even further. Even the shifter found himself feeling cold, despite the blankets that he kept firmly wrapped around himself. There was no way the Captain would last throughout the night like this, Eren had to do something. 

So, that night, when they had parted ways to retreat to their bedrooms after dinner, he’d decided. Not even five minutes later he was knocking at the Captain’s door and offering up his blankets to him. 

“Eren, I can’t take those. You need to keep warm too.”

“I’ll be fine, Captain. Shifter, remember? My temperature runs hotter than yours. One night without blankets won’t kill me.” 

The Captain sat up in his bed and eyed the younger man incredulously as if his disregard for his well-being was the most preposterous thing he’d ever heard. 

“If you’re so worried about it, come sleep in bed with me,” he snapped back.

“Wh-what?” Eren nearly dropped the quilt he’d held in his hands in surprise, not quite registering what it was the Captain had just said. 

“Oh, don’t be so scandalized. It’s not like you haven’t shared a bed or sleeping bag with your other squadmates during the cooler months before. Come on, hurry up. I’d like to get some sleep.” 

Eren wanted to say no, wanted to argue that it was different. None of his other squad members made his heart pound the way that the Captain did. None of them made him equally as excited as he was afraid. But saying that would be admitting his feelings and he couldn’t...he couldn’t do that. 

So, Eren did what the Captain said.

He wrapped his blanket tightly around himself and pressed his back to the Captain’s, using the material as a shield between his body and his superiors. Eren could hear his heart pounding in his ears and wondered if it was loud enough for Captain Levi to hear it as well. He hoped not. 

“Eren, this isn’t going to fix the situation much. We’re supposed to share body heat.” 

Eren’s eyes widened and he was ready to argue this time, mouth open when suddenly the blanket was being ripped from his body and he was being pulled by strong arms up against a cool chest. There was a bit of shuffling as both blankets were wrapped around them and then he heard the Captain sigh the moment their bodies touched, his cold hands seeking warmth as they wrapped around his chest tightly. 

Eren breathed heavily, heartbeat erratic as the Captain’s legs entwined with his. He’d imagined moments like this countless times at night, alone in his room with nothing but the light of the moon to keep him company. Watched enviously as Mikasa and Jean walked around with their fingers interlaced, wishing he had someone to do that with. Heart aching when he came upon a scene he wasn’t supposed to see; Hanji laughing, looking so carefree, and Moblit’s arms wrapped around her waist as he whispered words of endearment in her ear. 

He didn’t think it would be possible for him as he carried too heavy a burden. Had too many responsibilities. And, with the inevitability of death due to his Titan above his head, he hadn’t ever wanted to put someone through that. Besides, the Captain was the only one for him. From the moment he’d first encountered him in that courtroom, there could be no one else. And the Captain was the one person he couldn’t have. 

He was trying to calm down, willing his heart to slow, when he felt the coolness of Captain Levi’s lips on his ear. 

“Eren, your heart is beating so fast.” 

“S-sir!” 

“It’s Levi, Eren. For you, it’s always been just Levi. Do you honestly not know how I feel?” 

And Eren could have sworn he felt his heart stop. At that moment all that mattered was the way Levi maneuvered himself so that he was now hovering above Eren, arms on either side of his body caging him in. Midnight black strands fell in front of silvery-blue eyes, hiding their depth from Eren’s view. He reached up tentatively, pushing the hair away so he could look the man he’d held dearest to him for years in the eyes. 

“L-Levi?”

Levi’s lips curved up in a slow smile, eyes turning soft as he gazed at the man underneath him. 

“You’re so oblivious, Eren. I’ve been in love with you for the past two years. I knew you felt the same, could see it in the way you looked at me. In the way that you got so flustered whenever I brushed my fingers through your hair or pressed my hand into the small of your back or pinned you on the ground when we sparred. I was waiting for you, Eren. And I’m tired of waiting.” 

Eren nearly gasped when Levi’s lips connected with his own, cool and smooth despite the weather conditions they had been facing. He enthusiastically kissed the older man back, not entirely sure what he was doing but allowing Levi to lead and show him, as he’d always done. Levi’s palms cupped his cheek, tilting Eren’s head as his tongue slipped out and gently brushed against Eren’s lips. 

Immediately, Eren parted his lips and couldn’t hold back the needy sound he made when Levi’s tongue delved inside and slid against his. It was the first time he was tasting Levi and it was everything he’d ever thought it would be, minty with the lingering flavor of earl grey underneath. He allowed Levi to dominate the kiss, copying everything the man was doing, noting the way his tongue would brush against the roof of his mouth occasionally or the small nips the older man would give to his bottom lip whenever they pulled back for a breath. 

It was better than anything he’d ever imagined. Eren felt safe and secure underneath the older man, he knew that even though he had no idea what he was doing, Levi would do everything in his power to make this the most enjoyable experience for him. And, it wouldn’t take much. All they’d done so far was make-out a bit, with Levi’s hands occasionally drifting underneath Eren’s shirt to trace the lines of his abs, and Eren was hard. Harder than he’d ever been. 

“What do you want, Eren?” Levi whispered into his ear when he pulled back, breath coming out heavy and muscles straining in his arms as he held himself back. Eren could tell, then, in the way that the Captain’s body shook, in the way that his eyes were blown with desire, in the way that he looked down at the younger man as if he were the most miraculous thing he’d ever seen, that Levi had been waiting for this. Had been yearning for Eren in the same way he’d been spending the past year and a half yearning for him. The ache was so deep that he could feel it in the marrow of his bones, afraid that one day they would snap and break in half. 

“I want you, Levi. I want all of you. Now, tomorrow, and the next day. I want you as long as I'm still breathing, and even then, I will want you after that. Even if the world ends, my heart will still beat for you. Until the end of time and beyond,” Eren said softly against the skin of Levi’s neck, nuzzling the area as he felt the older man shake above him. 

And everything that happened after that was something that Eren would remember for the rest of his life. 

The way that Levi slowly and purposefully removed each article of clothing, hands expertly feeling every dip and curve of Eren’s body, leaving no place left untouched. Eren arched underneath him, letting out breathy moans every time he felt those fingers trace over a new part of his body. He felt as though there was a fire being ignited within him, his skin lighting up whenever cool lips pressed against it reverently. 

And when Levi took his cock into his hand? Eren thought he would be able to die happy right then and there. All the nights he had spent in the showers imagining it was Levi’s hand around his hard cock instead of his own would never compare to this moment. Those deft fingers trailing from his leaking tip down to his balls, caressing the delicate flesh as he murmured how beautiful Eren was in his ear. How lucky Levi was to have someone as strong and brave as him. How honored he felt that Eren trusted Levi enough to allow him to be with the younger man in this way. 

Eren couldn’t get enough, nails digging into the flesh of Levi’s arms as he worked three fingers coated with oil inside him. The sensation unlike anything he’d ever experienced, a bit uncomfortable, but made bearable and even pleasurable by the man who hovered above him. Eren soon rocking his hips against those fingers, telling Levi how much he wanted him, shouting about how good it felt, begging the older man for something better. For something _more_. 

And Levi didn’t deny Eren’s request, had the younger man keening in pleasure as he slid inside, and they finally became whole. One of Eren’s legs slung over Levi’s shoulder, one of Levi’s arms clutching his leg while the other clasped at his side, pulling Eren closer to him as though he simply couldn’t get close enough. 

They moved in tandem together, in perfect sync, their bodies perfectly molded and created for one another. Every time Levi’s hips snapped, Eren would tilt his head back and moan the older man’s name reverently. Hand moving up to grip Levi’s smooth black hair, pulling him down to connect their lips as Eren whispered words of love against them, as he moaned words of pleasure inside his mouth. 

It didn’t matter that the world was chaos around them, it didn’t matter that Eren could die in any given moment, it didn’t matter that he may one day have to make a decision that would either end the war or end the world. In this exact moment, the only thing that mattered to him was Levi. 

And when he finally came with an “I love you” slipping from his parched throat, he realized how happy he was. He wanted to hold onto this moment forever, to keep it in his heart for safekeeping, calling upon it whenever the days became too much. 

He wished to savor the way Levi’s body shook when he came moments later, resting his forehead against Eren’s as he looked deep in the younger man’s eyes and whispered words of love and devotion. 

Eren grasped at this moment of happiness, held it in the palm of his hand, and smiled up at Levi as tears pooled in his eyes. 

“What’s wrong, Eren?” 

“Nothing, nothing is wrong. I’m happy, Levi. Happier than I ever thought possible. Thank you.” 

And Eren knew, despite everything, that it was going to be okay. If love could exist in a world like this, if happy moments could arise through the chaos...then there was hope after all. 

**Author's Note:**

> Fun little note: 
> 
> Ciel, the name of Levi's horse, means sky in French. Eren didn't know this when he named his horse Storm and when he was informed, his squadmates made fun of him for weaks saying he had a crush on the Captain. Eren wash humiliated (especially since this was long before he realized how he truly felt about Levi) and Levi found him one night in the stable talking to his horse about the entire situation. Eren didn't know that Levi was listening so, he never knew why the next day everyone suddenly stopped and never brought it up again. And no one would tell him either. I wonder what Levi said to them? ;)


End file.
